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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I hate the holidays.?

God, I hate myself and my life. Everyone is out blasting their stupid hip hop and letting off fireworks. And so it's just me, my dog, and my half eaten pizza that I'm suddenly not very hungry for anymore.

I'm tired of my medicine, and my mom's cancer, and I'm tired of the fourth of july.

I need to do something so I can stop thinking. What do you suggest? Just sitting here on the computer and listening to music really doesn't help and it's dark outside.
Answer:
My friend... An idea...

Draw. Create. Perform. Don't think and do something where your imagination and innate creativity can run wild! Something to release your emotions and display them in another form to the world.

Life is a painting we create. With everyday a new stroke of a brush to create something too look back on in the end. Life is full of bright colors and more dreary ones. Cancer is never a fun thing, but perhaps she has bright colors of memories to outshine the dreary and the dark. Light can always find its way into the darkest of places.


So when you're in a dreary mood of a holiday or a time when others celebrate, remember that most people have no clue as to why they're celebrating. (This is quite comical) So find happiness in a memory or in anything, even if the occassion does not relate to you. I know you've been happy in your life. Find that and let it brighten your solitude!

Remember... The glass is not half empty... Its three quarters full! (I wish I knew what that meant :D) If but all you can do is manage a smile, let it be a smilethat grows into something magnificent. Then your Pizza with toasted crust and steaming delicious creamy tomato sauce and melted gooey aromatic cheese will once again bring a watering sensation to your palate! Your dog's tail will wag with the entusiasm of a thousand happy companions!

Live your life in this moment! Stop being dreary and live for the air you breath! Live and love and be happy. You got this.

(P.s. Thanks for making me now crave pizza... Grrr!)
I sleep usually... When I'm not working I'm sleeping and when I'm not sleeping i'm doing something to kill time.. like ByeDr.com.
It helps me to journal. It somehow gets the thoughts out of my head and onto paper.

I also suggest talking to a Therapist, it helps me when I'm depressed.
read a book that you can get lost in.. I love the lord of the ring books and went on the adventures with Frodo and friends..Find a book that does it for you. If you don't have one..go on line or to the library..
Well first of all turn on a fan or an air conditioner just to keep out the noise. Next, have you got any good books that are worth a second read? How about check our new college programs and consider updating your job skills.

That gal above me is totally right, if you have never READ TLOTR series it is really a life changer. Forget the movies, they were ok but the books are much much better.

Just a thought. I stayed home too. cause I did not want to join my teenagers, I wanted to sit home and pray for my missing son.
I typed "I'm bored" into the "Search for questions" box in the middle of this page, and there are thousands of suggestions.

"Don't worry . Be Happy" :)
As a mental health professional with 20+ years experience, now retired, your question sounds like you've been where you are for a while now. It sounds like you're used to having those feelings around holidays in general, and of obsessing over anything. Sounds like a good case of depression. Maybe you've been to counseling. Maybe you've even taken antidepressants or thought of it. My hunch is that your history that got you where you are has also instilled a "defense mechanism" to stay right where it is and not let you escape into a freer and happier frame of mind. At least not without the right counselor. I like what "Snazzlefrazz" has to say. That's a good short term "remedy", but I'm thinking since you've been this way for a long time, you need a longer term remedy. I'm sure, or think you might have, heard of "dysfunctional" families. Find a therapist that can work with you on yours. Interesting though. One of your current depression's aspects is that it makes you not trust someone once they get beyond that boundary you've put up to keep yourself safe from others. You're gonna have to really push back against that defense mechanism that your frame of mine has established long ago. Otherwise you won't be able to make use of the help someone's trying to give. Give what I'm saying a thought, and then go seek some help in the area I recommended if you feel it's appropriate. I hope I have been of some help. God Bless you.
Watch a movie. Go to your local video store and rent something that you've been wanting to see for awhile now.
It sounds to me like you went through some dramatic change in your life. There must have been a point when you loved holidays and now you're the opposite of that.

Maybe if you get more involved in activities, clubs, etc. and keep yourself occupied, the noise from the holidays wouldn't matter to you so much. Keep an open ear while at work too, because plenty of times people invite for happy hour or invite to hang out on weekends. So, go along with it to make yourself noticed at work. From there you will develop more friendship and hanging out around the holidays as well.
Be very careful , your going to miss your mom someday.

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