I dont know how to help my mam?

i feel really guilty, my mam's been really ill these past few days but i dont know what to do about it. the doc says she's over-stressed - she had a panic attack around 2wks ago, now she's getting colds at random times and feeling tired all the time. i dont know how to handle this and i feel really guilty about it, how can i make her feel better?
Answer:
Ben H you are such a good son to think about your mam and she must be very proud of you. However, she would rather you saw to your school work I'm sure. So why not try and see if you can get her some help from the doctor/ friends or relatives.

Do not try and look after her on your own as you will soon get very tired and run down. If you want to help just now talk to her and make her a cup of tea and something to eat she will appreciate that, but remember you must try and get some help.

Okay all the best and I hope your mam gets better soon and try not to feel guilty you are trying your best. remember that.

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Bless you...just let your mam know how much you love her and want to help..

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why would u feel guilty about it? did u do something to her?
and oh by the way do you mean MOM or is mam like a name you call.. idk someone else. well idk just try and be there for her and i guess keep going to the doctor to see what else can be done

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Go to school and learn how to spell.
That should make your MOM less stressed out.

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Just be there for her with your love and support.

Ask her if there is anything you can do to help her out.

Don't feel guilty, its not your fault she is ill. Just be a good son!

I hope she gets better soon.x

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Just be good, keep it quiet, give her some peace and do the little things that count. Pull together as a family and do jobs around the house so that she hasn't got it all to come back to. If she is anything like me when she is ill, she gets up WAY before she should do so that she can catch up with house work! Severely counter-productive.

Get some flowers and don't let her think about anything but getting better.

She will absolutely adore you for it and will never forget it.

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you cant really do anything to make her feel better just be there incase she needs you ring her up at different times talk to her ask her how she is talk about the weather anything to take her mind off anything that is troubleing her and be cool hope she gets better soon

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Keep asking if there is anything you can do to help her and make sure she knows you are there for her. Support her and love her. Hopefully she will feel better soon.

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ben, ben, ben, first of all you have to calm yourself down, you'll be no use if your panicing too!! well basically you do little things which help, like help with the cleaning, make her breakfast in bed, and basically be her rock and support her, think and speak positive in everyway! shes gettin ill because shes stressed.. may be it would be useful if she went to a counsellor or go on a relaxing weekend to a spa.. dont worry ben!! if u need to talk you can always email me.. but im havin problems with my internet, so bare with me!

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Mam is a northern english word for mum or MOM you idiots! Grr some people are so rude.

Tell her you're worried about her and ask if there is anything you can do to help her out e.g. dinner or the washing. Just look after her and try and make the situation at home as relaxing for her as possible. Bless x

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I know you mean your mother..here in Ireland we often use the phrase "my mam"..I think what she might need to hear is how concerned you are and that you love her and are there for her. That way, she knows she has the best support possible and maybe encourage her to take things easy and talk about how she is feeling. And look after yourself too. Best of luck

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My mother suffers from anxiety and nerves and has done so for many years so I understand your guilt, the colds and tiredness I am sure are just symptoms of feeling run down. All that you can do is support her, help her if she needs it offer an ear to listen too if she ever needs it and more importantly and harder to learn is have patience, its not something you can stick a band aid on and seldom people understand emotional problems as they can not be seen.

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help her out, stay positive, let her know you care. stress increases the likely hood of getting sick. just give her a hug and let her know you care

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she need pampering! do random things like buying flowers or cooking a meal etc. She need therapy, someone to talk to best someone she doesnt know though. Tell her how special she is, talk about good times youve had together, get her thinking about good memories. maybe get some holiday mags, even if you dont book a holds its great to look at them, take her out shoppin g or if she cant go out, get on ebay, and do a bit of online retail therapy, all the best x

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To be honest, it's down to her to get help for the stress and the panic attacks. You can make her life easier by helping around the house, but you're not to blame so don't feel guilty. It's common to have panic attacks when people are stressed, but nothing bad is going to happen to her. Bach Rescue Remedy is excellent, so suggest she gets some. Good luck

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I wish my son was like you because you truly care about your mam:) This may sound stupid but if she hasnt had her thyroid checked try to get her to have it done, all you described happened to me and my numbers were so way off and once i got the proper med levels i wasnt sick as often no more panic attacks, just a thought and give her lots of hugs (o:

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if shes tired all the time it could be depression i no this cause i suffer with it try and keep her busy to take her mind off it such as take her places plenty of fresh air will do her good problems most probably money related they allways are

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just try and help her with what you can eg house work or going to the shops and just let her know that your there for her.
and btw: i spell mum "mum", so all you ******* assholes, i wouldnt spell it mom, leave him alone ffs.

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First of all don't feel guilty unless you're 100% sure it was you're fault and you're fault alone that she had a panic attack.

Some things happen that we can't always explain, and playing the blame game never gets us anywhere.

Just make sure your mum knows that you will be there for her when she needs a helping hand and show that you can cope with resposibility such as household work (if you don't already do that).
Maybe make her breakfast in bed and other little treats like that.

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Make a fuss of her. Cheer her up with little surprises. Take her for a walk in the town centre %26 coffe %26 cake or whatever.

Best of luck, you are doing what you are supposed to.

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My mom did the same, but she got much worse. So I did what I could. Since I have 6 kids, I couldn't stay with her or anything like that, but what I did do was: I would make an extra plate at dinner and while my family was eating with my husband, I would run it over to her house. While I was there, I would try to clean up the house, do dishes, wash a load of clothes, change her sheets in her room, etc.; I would call her a couple of times a day just to make sure she was resting. I took her some really good books and DVD's and brought her "pocket dog" to stay with me for a few days while she rested. I hope this helps! I, too, had panic attacks, and they are not fun. They suck and they're scary as heck!

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From what I know of stress, which my mom has had problems with also, is that they have to figure a solution out on their own. The best thing you can do is to make sure you are there for her and let her know you love her. If you know of any of the problems that are causing the stress, try to see how you can help make these problems disappear. But it seems that there is major problem in her life that needs confronting. Just try to find ways of making her happy and making her laugh. I really hope your mom can figure out how to deal with her stress. I hope my advise will help.

Rob

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Bless you for wanting to help your mam just now. It sounds like she's having a hard time of it.
Just make sure she knows youre there on her side to help her where you can - that alone will take a lot of stess off. Ask her often what you can do to lighten the load a little
She'll recover, thanks to wonderful support like yours.

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u idiots that are telling him hes spelling wrong, are just as bad! "mom" is american!! "mum" is english "mam" is like an accent, ie from scotland or something! dont be such hypocrites..
anyway erm. u prob feel guilty cuz ur the only one with her also u could just do little things that could help her a lot , like maybe chores and cups of tea/coffee/hot choc, w/e and stuff. also u said that the doc said she was "over-stressed", do u know what about?? if u do maybe try and help her deal with that. hope she gets well soon!! =] and remember its not your fault!

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Lots of good answers. While you can do a lot for her her by being considerate, and giving her the opportunity to offload, she's the only one who can change things round. There's no need for you to feel guilty.
The main thing is to get her to discuss why she is so stressed and what you can do help. Encourage her to eat properly.
Otherwise, either of you can call Parentlineplus for a sympathetic ear if it gets too much (0808 2000 2222 or website www.parentlineplus.org.uk). It does not have to be a parenting issue to count, as she is a parent and we are there for kids as much as for adults.

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You already got many good advices here.
Let me just add you really don't have to feel bad, since you are already care about her.
Maybe she can't see it now, but when she will be better soon, she will appreciate it and will be proud of you.

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the best advice i can give u is to be there 4 her. help her where and when u can and most of all give her lots of luv im sure she is feeling vulnerable right now

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Hi Ben..
Your mam is very fortunate to hv a son like you who cares so much for her.I'm proud of you.
As much as you spend time with her, take care of yourself too, or you may fall sick easily.
God bless you and your mam :)

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Firstly don鈥檛 feel guilty! You鈥檙e such a lovely son! Here are some foolproof ways of getting rid of panic attacks and social anxiety. Perhaps you could print it out and show it to her?

1. Breathing properly will control your panic. As soon as you notice the signs of anxiety, check your breathing: breathe in slowly through your nose pushing your tummy out (to the count of 5 or so). Breathe out slowly and for a bit longer (to the count of 7 or so) through your mouth. Do not breathe rapidly or shallowly (in the chest area). This will soon restore the balance of oxygen and you will feel a lot, lot better. Once you start practising, it鈥檒l become second nature.

2. Also I would really advise a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. CBT is proven to be the most effective thing for panic attacks (and stress, anxiety etc). It takes a bit of work, but if you put the effort in it鈥檚 super effective. You can speak to your doctor about doing a course, or you can take a course for free online at: http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/elear... (The course is funded by NHS Scotland and has had great results)

3. I also suggest relaxation exercise tapes (progressive muscular relaxation). They really help if you practise often enough. This site has instructions on how to do it without the tapes (and other useful info): http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resource...

I hope you and your mum start feeling better really soon.

p.s. I have a PhD in English 鈥?I loved your retort to those numbskulls who don鈥檛 know the first thing about language! Spot on!

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All your mums symptoms are on Miriam Brazel's list
http://www.ylcf.org/hormone-imbalance/06...

http://www.virginiahopkinstestkits.com/a...

Virginia Hopkins was one of John R Lee's co-authors.

This link takes you to a suggested saliva hormone testing route
http://uk.geocities.com/willim_walker@bt...

1 do an online hormone test

the following may be quite difficult as it will require her full co-operation
2 do an appropriate saliva test and obtain results
3 get results %26 discuss with NPIS doctor or educate your GP/MD

perhaps someone at the NPIS site www.npis.info can assist you with suggestions

I have various links to other sites on my web page http://uk.geocities.com/willim_walker@bt... .

If she will not co-operate with you get a few CD's or videos that make her laugh and keep playing them they will help reduce her stress levels. Will she co-operate with her mum?

Don't fell guilty about it you are doing your best that's what counts.

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